Antonio's Legacy

Victor has now retired from Obando's Landscaping and left it to our son Josue. What a blessing this business has been for our family and we know that it will continue to bless the lives of our posterity. Now that our son has been gone for just over a year, Victor and I have decided to return to our native country of Guatemala. Although we raised our children with the Guatemalan culture, they learned to Americanize it, naturally. However, we miss our roots and we desire to help our people there, there is much need. We are going to start a charity there in the name of Antonio and help those families in need who have children with disabilities. We know that Antonio would want that to happen. The Lord has blessed us financially and we are grateful for the opportunity to help others with it. We are planning to return at the beginning of the year and we will continue to post about how the charity is going. If you would like to donate we have a P.O. Box that you can send donations to. Our children are still here in Texas and they will be helping the charity here by advertising and keeping up with the P.O. Box.

Thank you for reading our story and we pray that Antonio's legacy will continue to live on through our service for others.

Dell and Death

It wasn’t too long ago that Antonio was studying at San Jacinto. While he was there he came to love technology. He had always enjoyed it, but it was there that he really came to love it. It was so great to see him do something so independently. His transition to school went well as far as the social scene, teachers working with his 504 plan and everybody liking him, however, it was hard to watch his body continue to deteriorate. I knew that he didn’t have much longer with us, but I wanted him to enjoy what he did while he was still here. After receiving an associate’s degree in CIT he worked for Dell here in Texas. What an exciting time it was for him to be working for a large company with a fabulous team! He enjoyed his short time that he was there and he learned so many things that helped boost his self-esteem and help him feel so accomplished. I could sense Antonio knew that his time to return to his Father in Heaven was near. It was hard to watch him go from working every day for 5 hours to 2 days a week for only 2 hours. Dell was so good to work with him and help him until the very end. Antonio worked up until the day before he passed away. He was such a hard working young man and loved what he did.

My son passed away on August 23, 2008, just 3 months after his 24th birthday. I gathered my family together to comfort each other, find peace together and to enjoy our last moments with Antonio. What a blessing it was to be all together for one last time here on earth. It was a bitter sweet moment when my baby boy took his final breath and reached heavenward to return to the presence of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am sure that many family members were there to greet him and welcome him home in a sweet reunion. Antonio was my angel boy and was always such a positive upbeat person amidst all the trials that he faced in this mortal life. He taught my family and I to laugh when times were hard, cry only when we could handle it no more, and bear each other’s burdens. He truly knew what it was to be a disciple of Christ and act and do as he would. We are so grateful for the time that we had to spend with him and learn from his shining example.

Accepted!

I’ve been doing some scrapbooking lately with all my free time. It is wonderful to gather old pictures of all of my children and remember both happy times and hard times. I ran across some old papers that I had saved and found the acceptance letters for all of my children. Because Victor and I did not have a college education, we really encouraged our children to get the most education that they could. We were blessed to be able to help pay for all of our children’s education.

Towards the end of Antonio’s senior year, he received an acceptance letter in the mail for San Jacinto Community College. Victor and I did not even know that he had applied to colleges. He had told us that he was just going to get a job. When he showed us the acceptance letter, we felt a huge wave of different emotions. We were, of course, proud of our son for getting into a college. But we were also scared. He would have a lot of requirements and work, he would need transportation there and back every day, could he handle to work load, was he well enough, would his professors be understanding, would the students make fun of him? All of these thoughts were running through my head, but it turned out that I worried for nothing.

Antonio transitioned wonderfully to San Jacinto Community College. I was grateful he still lived at home so that I could still take care of him. He did extremely well in his classes, he enjoyed what he was learning, he was liked by his classmates, he receive great accommodations because of his 504 plan, and his professors were kind and understanding.

Rosa's Wedding

I remember the perfect, beautiful day that my oldest daughter was sealed for all eternity in the Lord’s Holy House to her sweet husband. What a perfect moment to be in the Temple with your family and watch your dear child, who has lived her life worthily to be in the temple, holding hands with a man who was worthy enough to bring her to the temple. Since that day, I have had a few more weddings in the temple and have had the same feeling of joy in my wonderful children. However, Rosa’s wedding sticks out particularly in my mind as I reminisce about my son Antonio’s short life. When Rosa got married, Antonio was a senior in high school, preparing to transition into the world and get a job. He could not go in the temple with us, but he patiently waited outside with his other siblings. However, the beautiful wedding day was tainted by my memories of what happened when we exited the temple. We were all smiles and grins as we walked out of the temple, after feeling the Spirit of the Lord so strongly, but my heart fell and the grins and happiness was quickly replaced by worry and strong anxiety when I saw that none of my children were outside waiting for us. Realistically, I should have thought that they were just around the corner or went on a walk, but I knew immediately that something was wrong. A cousin ran toward us and told me in rushed, worried tones that Antonio’s heart stopped beating and he had fainted and my other children had rushed him to the hospital. We did the same. We arrived at the hospital and I was in hysterics. My Victor was strong for me and held me close and whispered reassuring things in my ear the whole way there. We quickly found all of our children huddled around Antonio’s hospital bed. The doctor explained to me that he had arrhythmias, which is a disorder of the heart rate (pulse) or heart rhythm, such as beating too fast (tachycardia), too slow (bradycardia), or irregularly. Antonio’s was beating too slow and he would need to have a pacemaker implanted to regulate his heart rhythm. He told us not to worry and that he would be fine. I thought, YEAH RIGHT, how can a mother not worry? My amazing sons had already administered a Priesthood blessing on Antonio and I felt the comfort of the Holy Ghost in the room and in my heart. How grateful I am for worthy Priesthood holders in my family and that great power of God to bless the lives of my family. I felt comfort that my son was not in pain and that he would live until our Father in Heaven wanted to take him home.

Prom King

The mourning of my son has lasted a long time, but I was finally able to work up the courage and found my inner strength to go through his things. I walked through his room, touched every surface of it, and thought of all of the wonderful things that my boy experienced in his life. God knows that Victor and I tried with all our hearts to provide Antonio with a full and meaningful life. My other children were wonderful at including their baby brother throughout the years and helping him have a meaningful life. I have the best family in the world! After touching everything in the room, I sat on the bed and had a good cry. Not a cry of despair, but joy for the amazing son I was blessed to have, to serve, to love during his short life. I then began to clean out his room and pack things up. I wanted to keep everything! Everything had a story; everything was special to me. One thing in particular that I found in Antonio’s room brought a huge smile to my face and a stream of joyful tears: his prom king crown! I remember helping him get ready for this big occasion. We found a tux that would fit him just right in his favorite color, we got a beautiful corsage for his lovely, and should I say angel, date, and took lots of pictures of the stunning couple. I kept it together while we were taking the thousands of pictures, but as soon as they left the house and headed to the dance hall, I broke into happy Mom tears. I was so grateful for that wonderful young girl who looked past the physical limitations of my son (he was now at that point in a wheelchair after losing complete use of his legs and pelvis). I was grateful for my confident son who felt so okay with who he was and what he was capable of accomplishing. His confidence, his smile, his kindness made him a popular boy in his high school. The students loved Antonio, he was always hanging out with friends and he would get countless phone calls every night. This made Victor and I so happy and proud of our son. Anyways, the next morning I remember waking up and finding a crown, the very crown that I held in my hands while cleaning his room, on the couch. My waterworks started up again and I cried with joy as I pictured my son on the stage in front of his classmates getting crowned as Prom King! A mother could not feel more happiness than to see her disabled son being liked, happy, and socially accepted.

On a side note and completely informational, Antonio lost the ability to walk even with supportive leg braces at the age of twelve. His muscular dystrophy progressed very quickly throughout his short life and he lost the function of a lot of his body, including his arms and neck. He also began to have extreme back and chest deformities in late adolescence and young adulthood. He was strapped into his wheelchair and had supports to hold his neck, head, and back up.

Why Couldn’t I Stop Time?

An old mother has a lot to remember. The last few weeks I have been remembering the first dates of all of my children. I remember that they all were so excited to finally be able to date at the ripe old age of 16! All of them were all smiles as they went on their dates to the movies or to dinner. My social butterfly, Gabriella, had a date lined up for every Friday night for weeks a couple of months before she even turned 16! I had a hard time watching them all grow up and go on dates, but the hardest child to watch leave on his first date was my baby boy Antonio. When Antonio was 16, he asked one of his great friends to go to a school dance with him. I was full of mixed emotions as I helped him get ready for the dance. I didn’t want my baby boy to grow up, I didn’t want him to be a teenager, I didn’t want him to get any older, because I knew that I had limited time with him. Every birthday was a sad day for me and I wanted to do nothing but freeze time and hold him for a lot longer. I sadly, could not stop time, and I watched my young teenage boy go on his first date. I was proud of him for having confidence to go to a school dance when he could not even dance, walk, or stand. I was proud of his confidence to ask a girl out. I was and will always be so proud of my Antonio.

Changes

It is funny how the Lord will place certain people in you path just as the very time that you need them. A friend I made years ago called me this morning. Jill and I go way back. When Antonio was twelve years old, he got to the point where braces were not enough support for his little legs. I cried the day when the doctor told us that it was time for Antonio to start using a wheelchair. I yearned for my son’s condition to improve with time but instead the opposite happened. In order to accommodate a wheelchair in our home we had to make some big changes.
Making the needed changes to our home was not the only thing we dealt with. We also had to watch the community’s reaction to my child change. The people at church were great and always willing to help out. They made an effort to include him in all of the activities despite his limitations. The general community’s reaction was a little different. I remember one night we decided to go out to eat as a family not long after Antonio got his wheelchair. We choose a nice restaurant to celebrate Josue’s birthday. As we walked in it felt like everyone was staring at us. We told the host that we needed a wheelchair assessable table. At first they told us that they would not be able to accommodate us. My wonderful husband insisted that they find a way to do so. We were able to get in and eat, but this was the first time that I noticed the embarrassment on my children’s faces. It wasn’t so much that they were embarrassed to have a disabled sibling, but more so because everyone had to go out of their way to make accommodations for us. I could see in their faces that they longed to have a normal family.
It was that night that I decided I needed to do something. This community needed to be more aware of people with disabilities and to treat them like they were human. Over the next several weeks I met with members of the community who’s children had disabilities, and we formed an awareness group for children with disabilities. This is how I met Jill. Her daughter has Spina Bifida. We instantly became friends. Over the years we were able to share our experiences such as the one mentioned earlier. We laughed, cried, and supported each other. I thank the Lord daily for her friendship.

Reminiscent in the Market
My heart is full of gratitude as I sit and ponder about my beautiful life and the many blessings that have filled my years. I am also grateful for the trials that have tested my faith, my strength, my kindness, and my charity. One of the hardest trials of my adult life has been to stand back and watch my son Antonio struggle, hurt, and fail. A mother wants nothing more than to run to her child in a time of need, scoop him up into her arms, and make everything okay. I feel like my Heavenly Father, who I believe is a loving God, feels this way about His children. He sent us down to earth with the tools necessary to come back to Him, but He must often watch us with tears in His eyes as we fall, fail, and struggle to get back up. He must want to reach down and make everything okay, but He doesn’t. He lets His children go through that trial, so that they become stronger. I have felt that heartache as I watched all my children struggle and fail and have their own heartache, but Antonio worried me the most and he was the one I most wanted to pick up and make everything perfect for him.I was reminded of this while shopping in the market last week. While filling my cart with all of my husband’s favorite Guatemalan foods, I saw a young boy walking around with much effort with two leg braces on his little legs. Seeing this brought me back to the time when he was in la escuela basica. He was a young ten year old boy and he was doing very well in school. He was getting great grades, his teachers loved him, and all of his classmates loved him. Antonio was easy to love. He had a smile that could melt anyone’s heart and a heart as big as Texas. (That’s what I would always tell him!) He was keeping up very well with his peers despite is physical limitations, but he was still walking and the children were very good to include him in their outside play. However, as his tenth year progressed, his walking became much more labored. He would walk a few steps and be so tired. Next, and much too quickly, he lost the ability to walk without supports. We had him fitted with leg braces. They were big and bulky and Antonio had to relearn how to walk with them. It was a long process and Antonio was a fighter. His popularity on the school playground was deeply affected by the addition of the braces. The children forgot about Antonio because he couldn’t keep up. They would run and skip and jump ahead as Antonio laboriously tried to keep up. He would never catch them and would spend all of recess watching and wishing he was having fun with his friends. My heart, as it had so many times before that and would so many times after that, yearned to fix things. I wanted him to run with his friends, but I had to stand back and watch him fight and struggle and feel pain and defeat. I could do nothing to fix that, he had to do it himself. He was so strong and through time, he made friends with other children and they were able to play games outside that didn’t require running and jumping and skipping.

Dealing with the schools

I was looking through some old photographs the other day and came across the old school pictures of all my children including Antonio’s kindergarten class picture. That first year was a battle between our family and the elementary school. The school would not make a decision on whether Antonio should be in a regular education or special education classroom. They insisted that new testing be done before such a decision could be made even though all of Antonio’s testing was current. I knew there was no need to retest him. We had just gone through all of that. Why couldn’t they look at those tests results instead of putting my child through more tests. I felt like my hands were tied, and that if I didn’t allow the school to retest him he would never get in school. So I gave in and let them test Antonio again.

Once the tests were completed and reviewed by school staff we had a meeting. They wanted to place my darling little child in a special education classroom! At first I was furious and then my heart broke into pieces. Why would they want to place my little baby in the special education classroom? All I could picture was my child in an old, dirty, janitorial closet that the school had the nerve to call a classroom. Antonio sitting next to other children who could not talk, let alone think straight, and banged their heads against the wall! “My child is not dumb!” I remember saying. “Why can’t he receive his education in a regular education classroom?” I wanted him to be with his regular peers as much as possible. I recognized that he would need extra supports from teachers and even his peers. Was that too much to ask? It took several meetings, and me visiting the special education classroom, before we were able to come to a compromise that Antonio would spend part of his time in a general education classroom and part in a special education classroom for that first year. I remember thinking that no one really understood the needs of my child, and fearing that I was always going to have to fight with the school. I felt helpless and alone. I wasn’t sure that I could face that through the rest of Antonio’s schooling years. I wondered if any other families felt the same way.

The BIG move!

When Antonio was about four years old, Victor and I we were beginning to worry about the safety of our children as they would go and play in the neighborhood. We fasted and prayed to know what we needed to do about this situation. Victor and I decided it was time to move the family to a safer neighborhood. The family business was doing great and we were a little crowded in our home. We searched for a home for three weeks until we found one to meet the unique needs of our family. It needed a little fixing up done, but we felt like it would be a great family project. As soon as we knew we got the house we began packing everything up. It didn’t take long for me to realize that trying to pack up a home with five children running around the house isn’t very much fun. Between the three oldest doing everything they could to get out of work and Gabriela and Antonio unpacking everything I had just packed, some days I wanted to scream. I reflect back on those crazy days and know that if it weren’t for the great sisters in my Relief Society providing meals and helping me pack or take care of the children I wouldn’t have survived.

Once we got moved into the house life was still crazy, and at times I wondered if it was worth the move. Looking back I see that our move was a blessing in disguise. Not only was the new neighborhood much nicer and safer than our old one, but this part of town was able to provide Antonio more services to meet his unique needs. One of these services was the chance for him to go and participate in an inclusive child care program. At first I was a little hesitant, as any mother would be. I wasn’t sure how he would react to me dropping him off at a strange place. I was expecting him to cry and grab on to my legs with a death grip. As it turns out he had no problem leaving me. He saw all the toys and went straight to them. He didn’t even bother to tell me goodbye. I remember trying not to cry in front of the teacher on that first day. I think I was the one suffering from separation anxiety instead of Antonio.

A long and happy life

Today I spoke with Josue and I asked him what he remembered about Antonio right after he was born. He mentioned remembering Antonio always getting visitors that played with him and the other children as well.

Because Antonio was born with scoliosis he had physical therapist that would come to our home and do stretches with him. As Antonio got closer to a year old Victor and I noticed that he wouldn’t sit up on his own, and he wouldn’t even attempt to crawl. We spoke to Antonio’s physical therapist about this, and she told us she would bring in someone to test him.

After the tests were done, Victor and I were informed that Antonio was behind in his fine and gross motor skills. The physical therapist began to come more often to our home for the continued to work on stretches, and some other exercises to help Antonio. She was a joy to have in our home and to help Antonio. She would teach Victor and me the stretches, and would also let the other children watch and play with her when she came.

After another year of Antonio’s physical therapist, Susan, coming she noted further concern about Antonio, so Victor and I decided we would take Antonio to his pediatrician to be looked at. We made the appointment and I can remember the visit like it was yesterday. The doctor looked at Antonio, and had another doctor come in and look at Antonio, and eventually we were referred to a specialist. When we went to the specialist, they were very concerned about Antonio’s scoliosis, and after being left alone in the room for a very long time, the specialist came in and informed us that Antonio had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. I had never heard of that, and neither had Victor, but from the look on his face we knew it was good. He told us that, Antonio’s muscles will continue to get weaker and weaker as he gets older, and that most individuals with this disability don’t live past the age of 25. The specialist continued to talk to us, but Victor and I were no longer listening. I was too busy wondering why my Heavenly Father would do that to Antonio, he was such a sweet child, and he deserved to have a long happy life, like my husband and I.

After the doctor’s visit I was so confused, I had no idea what I was going to tell my family about the visit. We decided not to say anything to our children yet, but we of course told Susan. She was very empathetic towards our situation, and she even told us she would have someone contact us that works with families that have children with disabilities. A few days after speaking with Susan, her friend, Mary, called us and said that if we wanted she would love to help our family and Antonio. Mary was amazing. She would come every week with Susan and they would work with Antonio, and make sure to do stretches with him and worked his muscles to delay the inevitable as much as possible. The children, Victor and I became very comfortable with them, and so did Antonio. He began to grow into a beautiful little boy; he even learned to walk, though he did need braces to do so.

When Antonio was a few months from starting Kindergarten, Susan and Mary informed us that he would transition from working with them to working with someone employed by the school. They helped us by writing a Transition Plan to prepare us for Antonio going to school, but I was nervous to let anyone else work with Antonio. Susan and Mary had become a part of our family, and having a stranger work with Antonio was a scary thought, but Susan and Mary comforted us and told us they would help the transition go as smoothly as possible.

My family has been blessed with so many supportive friends. Antonio has truly helped our family grow in size and love. He has taught everyone a great deal about what life is really about.

The Joy of Our Lives...

I am full of gratitude as I look back on my life and my family and all the blessings we have been given. After Victor and I were married we had many financial difficulties, so we discontinued going to school, and moved to Texas where Victor had family. Victor’s family was very gracious to us. They allowed us to move in with them, and they also gave Victor a job mowing lawns, for their family business, Obando’s Landscaping.

Victor’s uncle was getting old, and he and his wife wanted to retire and move back home to Guatemala, so they left Obando’s Landscaping to Victor. Victor was a very successful business man and the company flourished, as did our family. After Victor and I were married for two years, we had our first son Pedro. Pedro (1976) brought so much joy to our life, so much that we continued to have children—Rosa (1978), Josue (1980), Gabriella (1982). Our children were truly the joy of Victor’s and my life, so we decided to have one more child and then our family would be complete.

I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant with our fifth child (1984). The pregnancy and birth went well. Antonio was beautiful! After I held Antonio in my arms for what seemed like moments the doctors took him into another room. I was confused as to what was going on, and then a doctor came back into and informed Victor and I that Antonio had scoliosis so he would have to stay in the NICU for a few days. They began doing physical therapy with him right away and thankfully after a few days we were able to bring Antonio home with us.

Pedro, Rosa, Josue, and Gabriella were so excited when Antonio finally came home. We told them that Antonio’s back hurts him so they had to be careful when they played with him and held him, but I can remember their joy, especially Rosa’s, because they were all so excited to meet their new baby brother, Antonio.

Happy 35th Anniversary!!

Today Victor and I are sharing our 35 year anniversary, which has caused me to reflect on how we met. We were both attending Brigham Young University, in Provo. We met our freshmen year, in our social dance class. I can remember the first time I saw him. It was refreshing to see and meet someone who was also from Guatemala, especially since I was so far from home. I remember our first time dancing together, he was an awful dancer. He still is, but we have enjoyed dancing together on each of our anniversaries, though I usually end up having a bruised toe by the end of it.

I remember how nervous Victor was when he asked me on our first date, it was so adorable. He took me to an Italian restaurant, and then we went on a walk around campus. This date was about three weeks after we met, and then a month after our first date Victor proposed and we were married May 1st for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake City Temple.

As we have grown together in love and friendship I have become more and more grateful for the gospel and the opportunity that I have to be sealed to Victor and our beautiful children forever.

This is the story about our family where we love, support and cherish each moment!

We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and originally from Guatemala. My name is Celeste and I met my husband, Victor in 1974 and we were sealed in the Salt Lake City Temple that same year. We were blessed with our 5 beautiful children, Pedro, Rosa, Josue, Gabriella, and Antonio. We moved to Texas as a young family to live nearby Victor's family and help run the family landscaping business, Obando's Landscaping. We raised the children there as we helped Antonio on his way to victory. Antonio was born with scoliosis and we later found out about a condition he had called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. We had much help from family and friends and we are so grateful that we had good work to sustain our doctor bills. What a blessing Antonio truly is to our family and we pray that you might be blessed by him as you read about our story. Antonio recently passed away but he will still live in our hearts and know that this blog will help others find peace and comfort in their trial of having a child with a disability.